a reminder.

I was recently reminded how valuable it is to know you are allowed to be broken. You are allowed to fall apart. Life is allowed to hurt, and you are allowed to cry about it. Pain is meant to be felt. 

 We talk about emotions as if happiness is the only acceptable one. Anger is meant to be let go of. Worry is meant to be pushed away. Sadness is meant to be fixed. Pain is meant to be worked through. All to get back to the always sought-after “happy”. I am calling absolute bullshit on that. God made us with every single one of those emotions and they are all meant to be felt. They are all important. They all matter.

 I’ve been home a month and it sure hasn’t been easy. I no longer know how I fit into the life I left behind. Getting up and going to work is harder than it used to be. People around me feel a lot harsher than they used to. Sleeping in a room without all my friends isn’t a dream like I thought it would be. And let me tell you getting beat up by life and depression is so much more painful than it was a month ago with twenty brothers and sisters standing beside me, holding me up. 

 Being home has been beautiful. I’ve seen so many people I missed so sorely. I’ve hugged more kids at work than I could possibly count. I’ve taught babies to swim and have been as proud as a parent. I’ve sat in a car alone and listened to music while watching a sunset. I’ve made decisions that no one else got a say in. It has been so good and so painful at the exact same time. 

AND THAT IS OKAY. 

I can be happy. And sad. And joyful. And heartbroken. And content. And depressed. All at once. I wasn’t made to be one or the other all the time. And neither were you. 

 So today all I have to say is, it is okay to be broken. It is okay to need help. It is okay to need someone to hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay. It is okay to be hurt by people or events in your life. You don’t have to have it all together. Read that again because I know some of you just said in your head, “yes I do” because I said the same thing. But it’s true. You don’t. You don’t have to fix everything. You don’t have to be the one to hold your family or your friend group or whatever it is together all the time. 

 REMINDER: this applies to all of you. So once again if you read that and said, “Yeah, that’s all true but not for me” Read it again. And then read this. This applies to you if you are a kid. An adult. A man. A woman. Black. White. Hispanic. Asian.  Democrat. Republican. Rich. Poor. Straight. Gay. Working 60 hours a week. Working on getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. It applies to every single person on this Earth. Including you. 

 and lastly. If no one else is telling you this today. I love you. God loves you. You matter immensely on this Earth. I am proud of you just for existing. For making it this far. That’s not always an easy task, so I am INCREDIBLY proud of you.  

all His love,

sarah hicks